??:-S??

confused. till now i thought this was the ambit of the ordinary, the less than ambitious, the cattle. realization dawns. i was wrong. i am in the midst of it too.
the beautiful weather is back. the kind where i can sit in my balcony all day and stare into the space. i am afraid i dont have the peace to enjoy it.

it might be i need a break
life is no longer a piece of cake
the nerves are over wrought
and i seem tired.. distraught
the mind - forgetful and careless
the body - couldn't care less
reactions inane
and despair reign
i know life's not a bane
am i going insane?

i always thought tough times brought out the poet in me :D and the singer... wish others saw the writing on the wall too!

up and away

the ubiquitous application - facebook. its everywhere and starts a myriad chain of thought sometimes. i was talking to someone there, sorry, ummm posting on their 'wall' and this struck me. i've been going somewhere in life all my life. this goal, that target, that college, that MBA, that hot chick, (:D, lets keep the last one that way) etc. now for the next 2 months. its all gone. its over. i'm out. i'm going away.

i'll spend 2 weeks visiting Leh and beyond and then come back to delhi for a week before I head to Uttarkashi for a month for a mountaineering course. the lack of oxygen is unlikely to knock any worldly sense into this brain of mine. but yes, i think i'll come back happier and saner...

life cometh a circle

the good thing about having your own non readable - its my life story blog is that you dont need to justify and can type out when and what you want. so without further in i dive into the myriad thoughts that clamber all over my brain. that makes me think what my clambering thoughts would like inside my brain - ants over a mound? :)

life is funny for sure. and when it gets down to the last couple of blows it can seem a pretty mean game. you know you're down, you know you're not out but you know you're screwed and hope merges with dreams and aspirations. you look around, things could be worse but heck you say, they're not meant to be and the only way in life is to go up. achieve or die trying.

i know life is about squash games, mountains, spending time with the woman i love, sunsets and early morning coffees... but its also about doing work that earns you the former and gives you that kick to get out of bed every morning. its about passion. its about finding something you love. and i am missing that element sorely.

i loved my former job. i spilt blood for it. 18 hours on the job, 13 straight weekends at work. i worked till i bloody knew that kingdom come i had done in 1 year what a grad would do in 3. sure i screwed up. god knows i was lucky and my family understood, but i worked my butt at it. and i loved it. but i lost it and i want it back. i dont want to be bill gates, nor mr buffet. but i want a good life, a career, my ten goals to achieve. i want to travel, explore the world. do it on my dime. and my time. but its getting tough. and i dont like it. at all...